The Haunting
by Raiden Amour
Summary: AU. What's left now when the only one he ever loved is gone? Agony- sweetly infatuating, enamored to be nauseating- revolting- tormenting- and decaying... agony. Push it all away just to get a little back. Character Death, drugs, alcohol, self abuse, and depressed stuff with happy flashbacks- it's just depressing as a whole. You may cry- just saying.


The room was dark- even though the one pair of broken and torn curtains showed the sun shining brightly outside, it was like the warm sun could no longer reach the inner depths of the house, the darkness of the room only managed to make the mess of the place seem even worse. Trash and papers littered everywhere that held a horizontal angle, the whole house would be just as filthy if any living being bothered to venture past the living room, bathroom, and bedroom- even the kitchen was saved from the mess as no inhabitant had an appetite for months. The cold home would seem abandoned- if not for the emaciated man in dirty and torn clothes rocking at the far end of a newly destroyed couch, a small red and orange light glowed just inches past his shaky and lanky sun deprived fingers as he held the paper wrapped illegal drugs to his lips and sucked in.

The hollow of his cheeks showed darker as he inhaled more than he could handle, he choked on the smoke but held it in, rocking forward and backward in any attempt to get the drugs to work faster. His long mangled red hair was so engulfed in grease and dead skin from his lack of care that as his gaunt body was thrown back and forth the once cared for extremity of his body remained a tangled mess with little to no movement. His abused lungs screamed for help from his newly destructive ways- but the only help they were provided with was Axel's inability to hold in any longer and the smoke transpired from his nose and mouth all too quickly for the young man's liking. He quickly forced dingy and polluted oxygen from his dilapidated surroundings into his body- till his lungs refused to stretch any further- and he held the air in as his high set on even stronger.

He continued to torture his body; there was not a single space on his body saved from his abuse, as he jerked on his claimed spot on the disheveled couch, rocking as fast as he could like hoping to throw a painful memory from his distressed head. Breathing in more and more of the drug all the while- the man cared not to notice whether his inanimate green eyes were open or closed as the speed of his rocking only increased, before too long his drug was nothing but an ash like stub burning his already scorched and marred fingers. The violent rocking had ceased as he lay relaxed against the back of the cold couch, even the almost always constant shaking had slowed down to be only minute spaced twitches.

Giving up to his lungs, his body weakly breathed in and out from memory of internal instinct to survive- why, Axel didn't know any longer, but he was far too distant to care. Staring at dark and opaque curtains that poorly covered the window do to the fixture to hold said curtains had been broken by Axel himself- with regret- not too long ago. He welcomed the bliss moment of nothing- of being so faded and withered that everything had dissolved away, every care or lack of. Once vibrant but now dead green eyes drifted shut- not caring if they would ever open again, his body floated in nothing with no pain as even the distant discomfort in his burning fingers became nothing.

Darkness faded away as a yellow hue glowed from beyond his eyelids; slowly he opened his eyes to find a blinding light directing straight into his eyes, his eyes quickly closed again- comfortably this time. There was a comforting sound all around him, which soon made sense to his slowly awakening body, the sound- the voice, was indescribable save for the fact that it was gentle, kind, and loving. "Axel," he heard the voice say calmly, "Axel," the slightly deep voice sang. "What?" he laughed back, the current Axel wouldn't know where to find that energy today, or how to get that happy tone back in his voice, "You're not sleeping… are you?" the alluring and angelic voice sang in an even and unwavering tone, almost as if daring Axel to say he was indeed sleeping.

"Course not…" he mumbled back, a small smile gracing his obviously well-nourished being- making it all too apparent that he was _obviously_ not telling the truth. The delicate voice took on yet another tone as the user began to laugh, the airy sound filling the warm room. Green eyes opened once again, the glowing ember light from the sun outside the window still shined through the newly put up- but opened, curtains- this time not blinding the outgoing and light hearted young man. His eyes shined against his slightly tanned skin like white against black- his glossy and well taken care of red hair did nothing but make the taller than average lean man stand further out in a crowd. But still, Axel only cared for the small and ambrosial younger man laying half on his lap, looking down he couldn't help but smile at the smooth cream skin, electrifying blue eyes, and soft blond hair that felt even more feather like as his fingers gently wound around in it.

"Good," the boy laughed, eyes hiding behind eye lids for a few scant seconds as he smiled, "It'd be no good if I started boring you now," his laughter continued to fill the room as Axel gave a complementary laugh, "As if I could ever get bored with you Roxas," he smiled, "Just the idea of you yourself is enough to occupy me for the rest of my life," the glowing older man was the first to laugh this time, but the smaller soon joined in. They sat like that- Axel sitting at the end of the new couch, closest to the window but still a little over a foot from it, as Roxas lay on the clean couch with his head resting on Axel's lap- made soft by his newly washed pajama pants. Warmth radiated from their new shared home, Axel looked around the room to admire the hours spent- months ago- putting everything in it's now proper place.

The walls were a comforting and somewhat pale yellow, but the color shown brighter from the tens of picture frames and memorabilia hanging for the plaster, the large TV was the only thing Axel had to offer of use in his new home that he and Roxas had dreamed of getting for months- no, years, before. Now that they had the small- but more spacious than they needed- home, it was like everything they had ever dreamed of was turning into reality, but Axel would always be fine if they moved back into their small apartment building on the other side of town- as long as he had Roxas. "What do you think we should do tomorrow?" the blond asked, the smile was almost always permanent on his face- especially when he was around Axel, though they did have their ups and downs they always managed to fix it before it could hurt either of them too much.

"What do you wanna do?" the older asked, enjoying the feeling of moving the hair around in his hand while watching the angelic face in thought. "Hmmm…" the smaller started, "Well… we did something fancy last year… why don't we do something simple this year, like just staying home and I don't know… stay in bed all day," he laughed, Axel was already agreeing to it before he could use reason, "I still have work tomorrow though…" Axel said sadly, he was the 2nd main tattooist in the shop- the most famous shop in town, "I know… I mean when you get done dummy," Roxas laughed, trying to cover his smile, he had never had a problem with Axel's work schedule because Axel only worked Tuesday and Thursday from 12 pm to 6 pm and Wednesday at 9 am to 12 pm, and tomorrow happened to be Wednesday. "Oh pshhh," the redhead laughed, tickling the blond in a weak attempt of pay back.

Roxas laughed in uneven tones as his body shivered and jolted to get away from the tickling fingers, soon the fingers stopped their tedious act and instead settled on his small side while the other returned to the soft hair. The boy stared straight ahead; looking at a photo of five, the person in the middle of the photo being Roxas himself when he was just a child, a boy not too much older with the same features was to his right while to his left was a little girl with a bit paler hair but the same lively eyes. Two figures in the background smiled widely at the camera, each one had a hand on the outer child's shoulder while their other hands held each other, and they stood so close in the photo the love from the family was almost overwhelming. But that was why Roxas was now so sad.

He let out a sigh as he felt his blond getting depressed, "Roxas…" Axel started, but before he could continue Roxas began speaking, "I know… they loved me and I love them and nothing will bring them back but at least I had a chance to be with them…" his voice was far too tragic for Axel's liking, but he couldn't change that- the tone would always be sad when the boy thought about his parents that had died almost two years ago. Axel had also thought of them as his parents having never been close to his own- but he knew what he felt couldn't compare to what the smaller one felt. The light bulb flicked on in Axel's mind- without him even realizing, Axel turned Roxas over gently so he could look in those now sad eyes, he leaned down kissed Roxas on the nose quickly- something that had always made the blond smile no matter what.

Relived that this time was not an exception, Axel sat up and smiled down at the boy, who only smiled for a second before sticking his tongue out at the man, that instantly made Axel start to almost laugh evilly as he began tickling Roxas- and no matter how much the blond twisted and hollered with laughter Axel wasn't stopping. Their doorbell rang a soft chime, "Hold on Axel," Roxas laughed out when the redhead didn't stop his tickling acts, finally Roxas was free to stand up and make his way to the door, when he opened it he found a UPS box sitting on the corny Welcome Mat Roxas was determined to have set up.

Roxas read the label in his mind, an early anniversary present from his slightly older brother Cloud, he smiled as he set it on the partially organized partially messy dark walnut coffee table. "Who's it from?" the older one asked, relaxing on the couch- the blond was smiling again so his job was done, "Cloud… no matter how many times I tell him- my brother always manages to send it a day early. We don't even live 20 minutes from him and my sister- if he or Naminé were so worried about the time it got here he could just drive it or Naminé could bug Cloud to bring her over to drop it off." "Just feel special that your sister and your brother love you enough to send a gift at all," Axel spoke as Roxas stood in front of him.

"I know I'm loved," Roxas smiled as he bent over Axel- the only time he could ever hope to be taller than the older man- and pressed his lips gently against Axel's. The sweet and soft flesh pressed against Axel's lips- stopping his mind from thinking, halting his heart from beating- all the redhead could hold onto was the feel and the wanting to feel. Everything shut off in his body except for the connections he shared with Roxas- whether it was the soft and moist workings between their lips- or the friction that embedded itself in Axel's hands as he slid his slightly bony appendages down the soft and small side of the younger- to rest on his hips, waiting for the moment to pull said hips down on his lap and hold the blond closer and push away all thoughts of ever letting the blond go. Or even to the simple and gentle touch of Roxas' palm and fingertips that ghosted around the sides of Axel's face.

Axel smiled when he felt the lips against his turn up, he heard Roxas chuckle about their simple actions because they both knew where it would lead. Roxas slowly pulled away, eyes slowly parting to shine deep blue against pink tinted cheeks, his face innocent for only a second before an even wider smiled took over his features. Axel watched in awe before smiling- he was irrevocably in love with slightly younger man, so much so that he couldn't image himself anywhere else other than dead if he didn't have the blond. The redhead's hands remained on the small and teasing hips as the blond stood up straight, Roxas leaned backwards with his hips practically jutting out to tease the older man even more- his teasing was almost too much for the slightly older to stand.

Pulling the blond down Roxas was put in a position that forced him to straddle Axel's hips- not that he really fought with the redhead, Roxas was always so much shorter and smaller than the taller man that whenever Roxas could have the upper hand- he took it. The sweetness of the lips left Axel wanting more than just the lingering after taste, he urged the kiss to continue but waited till Roxas was the one to initiate it. Sweetness remained but the gentleness that masked the need was stripped away to leave only the wanting and need behind. Roxas giggled with joy in the kiss, smiling against Axel's own smile, they were so close Axel felt like they could become one person at any time.

Realizing that Axel was also smiling crossed the blonds mind and left him having to pull away from the kiss so he could laugh from simple amusement and love, Axel didn't handle the cut off love like Roxas did and began tickling the boy on top of him again. Finally getting free a few minutes later, Roxas stood up and dashed to their bedroom, sliding on the clean and newly polished hardwood floor, he tried to shut the door but was stopped as the redhead was right behind him. Axel pinned Roxas to the bed in a matter of seconds, the blond couldn't stop laughing and Axel was doing everything in his power not to join in on the laughing but instead remain his slightly threatening disposition.

From then what felt like hours passed, in that time Axel showed just how much he loved Roxas- which Roxas returned- and did everything he could to make Roxas forget his pain and past troubles. Laying in their bed Axel breathed calmly as Roxas cuddled to his side, he looked around the room- the light blue paint was calming no matter what mood he was in and the symmetrical room only offered Roxas and Axel the ability to keep a little bit of themselves to themselves. Roxas' things stayed on Roxas' side of the room while the other side remains Axel's. The whole house- no matter what room was entered, represented the warmth Axel and Roxas' relationship had, everyone who entered could automatically tell it was a home and feel comfortable there.

"Eight thirteen…" the boy mumbled, "Huh?" the redhead asked, looking down at the blond who rolled over to prop himself up on his elbows- his cream skin pushing into the plush cotton white sheets, "Tomorrow is August thirteenth… we've been dating for exactly 5 years tomorrow," Roxas smiled. "Yep," again there was a smile gracing both of their faces. Axel's mind wished they could say they were _married_ instead of dating but Roxas hadn't hinted at marriage at all so Axel hadn't bother to step further with their relationship that was perfect just the way it was.

Axel and Roxas found the motivation after a few restless minutes or hours to roll out of bed and start cooking dinner. They didn't always bother cooking- it always depended on the mood. Sometimes Roxas would cook- and equal amount of the time Axel would take over, sometimes they would order take out, eat out, and even in those rare occurrences when they weren't seeing eye to eye- the kitchen would go unused for the night. But now was not one of those rare occurrences and now the couple stood in the kitchen making a simple hot meal- bumping hips just to get the other one going every few minutes, and when all was said and done the used dishes ended up in the dishwasher while the cooked food rested in their stomachs.

The lighter one laid on top of the tall one on their yet-to-be-broken-in couch to watch TV, a sappy movie about love and realizations played making the two of them happy that they would always have each other. They fell asleep wrapped around each other, the stars shinned through the curtains that had yet to be closed- Roxas had loved the curtains so much he saved up just to buy them, but now that they were up the blond realized he loved seeing the sun.

Axel's dead eyes opened to see just as much as he did when his eyes were closed. The rotten smell of his own deterioration filled his nose as his anorexic body slowly and weakly pulled in the raunchy air, he was going to be sick… again. He clawed at the couch to push himself to stand up, his skeletal legs almost unable to support him, he ran to the bathroom- tripping and sliding, practically crawling just to make it to the toilet on time. Falling and sliding he pressed his wrists and arms against the cold porcelain while bile raised and left his mouth, only so much could come out when nothing had gone in. His hands remained almost painfully arched up like he was ashamed to touch such a dirty utility- it hadn't been washed in weeks, his body slid around the throne while his wan body began to shake and convulse.

Nothing more would come out. Pushing himself back his weak body slammed against the once white wall- his palms dug into his eyes while his body rocked back and forth, pain nestled around his stomach, gripping tight. He'd have starved himself to death months ago if Naminé and Cloud hadn't kept checking up on him and force feeding him, "Like they care," Axel often thought. But right now he couldn't think straight- all that ran through his head was Roxas, all he wanted- all he needed was Roxas- to see, hear, touch, smell, and taste the blond. The redhead smashed an elbow against the wall in hopes of either shutting up his mind or showing the need of his thoughts.

He shuffled around to find a discarded clear bottle of alcohol in the tub, there was always so many laying around on the dirty floor that Naminé always cleaned up for him- much to his distaste. Prying open the cap he pressed the edge to his lips and tipped the bottle up, the liquid falling into his mouth almost too fast for him to swallow, he choked on the burning liquid but continued to try and down it. His stomach groaned in hate at him while the fiery substance gagged him and poured over his lips and down his cheeks before his arm could drop from weakness.

Using what small energy he had he downed the rest of the bottle and when he found the plastic container empty he threw it at the far wall, the sound of it hitting the hard wall and then even harder floor echoed to be one of the only sounds in the empty home- _house_. It was no longer a home. Axel screamed at the silence, the pain that stretched to wrap around his stomach and heart and all other organs like hands- squeezed and twisted. Ripping and eating pieces of him away a little at a time to leave the empty void inside of him ever growing, creating him into an empty shell, till just the reverberations of his own screams and cries were enough to break and shatter whatever was left of his frail being and he'd turn to dust.

Oh how he waited for the day.

His eyes closed yet again to block out the world while he laid fallen on the floor- slightly propped against the wall. This pain slammed him heavy at first months ago but grew stronger slowly, day by day, inch by inch, and second by second, his end was taunting him with relief from its ever pressing torture. It wouldn't let him rest till his mind was so abused it had no choice but to shut down, till his body was so wracked with added pain that consciousness was no longer an option.

Axel's phone began to buzz, by the pressure he laid on he knew he was sleeping on the couch, his hand left the warmness of the being on top of him and he smacked the coffee table next to him- after missing the first time. "Ugh…" he mumbled as he turned off his alarm, he'd slept in- the reason he always set his alarm, he squinted open an eye to look at the clock, he still had an hour before he had to leave for work. He closed both eyes for a second but even with his eyes closed he could see the glow of light that shined on his eyes and he could still feel the warmth of the sun as it heated his body. "You gonna get up?" he heard a celestial voice ask quietly, "Eventually," he answered with a yawn, feeling the being on top of him snuggle into him- rubbing his face in the space between Axel's jaw and shoulder, his breath comfortably reminding him that he was indeed there.

A few minutes passed before the blond kissed the redhead's cheek and climbed to stand up, mumbling something about the bathroom on the way. He finally got the motivation to stand up and find his way to the kitchen, drinking orange juice from the carton before sliding it back into the fridge, "Ow!" he cried as he felt a smack to the back of his head, "Don't drink out of that!" Roxas yelled, a slight pout on his face as he walked around from behind Axel and opened the fridge. "The only ones who drink out of it are you and me- and we've done way worse," Axel laughed as the blond began to blush, "Hush," "Why?" "Cuz that's embarrassing," Roxas pouted as he began to fry eggs.

If it wasn't for Roxas Axel would be even skinnier, Roxas often felt proud that he could help Axel out in such a way, they were dependent on each other- they needed each other to survive. Roxas made food for Axel while the redhead jumped in the clean shower. They weren't clean freaks but while Roxas sat at home filling out job applications he always got distracted and Axel would find him sitting in random places when he returned home and the area all around him would be spotless.

"Today will be a usual day, right?" the blond asked as Axel began eating the food placed in front of him, "Hopefully," he smiled as Roxas sat next to him while picking at his toast. "Good," Roxas smiled, "I want to run over to see Cloud and Naminé for a little while, thank them for the present," "What is it?" "Don't know yet, we'll open it when you get out of work, but they always give us something good." "True," he kissed Roxas as he stood up to take care of his plate.

He only had 15 minutes before he had to leave; he chose to spend it washing the dishes, Roxas sat on the counter next to him and watched him silently. Time to leave had come and Axel kissed Roxas on the lips briefly before saying his goodbyes, "I love you," Roxas called out from his place on the counter, smiling brightly at the taller man. Axel froze for a brief for a second because of Roxas sudden outburst, "I love you too," he smiled as he shut the door and found his bike- his motorcycle.

Work was going smoother than usual; he did a few detailed pieces and a few simple black pieces before it was time for him to head back home. He bid goodbye to his coworkers as he drove home, he couldn't wait to see his Roxas again, it may have only been 3 hours since he'd seen him but Axel was already unable to remember Roxas voice, unable to imaging the feel of Roxas' skin, unable to remember anything except the way he loved Roxas and how that was perfect.

When he finally reached home he was surprised to find the door locked, "Huh…" he mumbled, he pulled the keys back out of his pocket and unlocked the bolts, "Roxas?" he called once he was inside but he got no response. He searched the house wondering if he'd find Roxas sitting in some strange part of the house, but felt a little panicked when he came up empty handed, he walked back outside and realized Roxas' car wasn't in the driveway.

"Hey Cloud, is Roxas still there?" he decided to call after almost an hour of being home, he was sure Roxas would've called him or texted him if he was on his way or would've shown up by now but Roxas still wasn't home. Axel had tried calling Roxas but the blond didn't pick up, he left a simple text telling the younger man to call him when he could. "Here? No, Roxas left almost two hours ago, he's not there?" the older brother asked slightly concerned.

"I tried to get ahold of him but he hasn't answered his phone," he said in a worried voice, "Well… you know Roxas," Cloud sighed, "He probably got distracted on his way back and lost track of time." "Yeah…" it did sound like the blond but then again, normally Roxas came to his sense by now. Hours passed but Roxas didn't even call or text, Axel yawned as he laid on the couch- turning the TV on in hopes of Roxas showing up soon. When he finally opened his eyes he jumped up, looking around the dark room that was only lit by the TV, he looked around the room with a slightly panicked mind.

"Roxas?" he called out, rubbing his eyes as he sat up, he heard nothing so did another sweep of the house only to find out that yet again he found no Roxas. Looking at his phone he read the time aloud in shock, "11:43?" he all but screamed, he turned on the outside light on his way to the door, he peaked out to find the driveway empty save for his bike. He pulled his phone out and dialed Cloud yet again as he walked back into the house, "Hello?" he heard a girl answer in a tired tone a few rings later, "Hey Naminé, is your brother there?" "Hold on," relief washed over Axel as he heard the girl walking up stairs, he heard her mumbling to someone and soon he heard a groggy tone, "Hello?"

"Fuck… damn… Sorry Cloud- I mean to ask if Roxas was there…" "Hm? He's still not back yet," "No and it's really starting to worry me…" Axel and Cloud continued to mumble about their worries about the smaller blond. "I'll call you if I hear anything," the brother said, Axel added his thanks before hanging up. There was this pressing anxious feeling in his stomach, panic stuck to the back of his heart slowly drawing out his energy but Axel didn't know what to do, he sat on the couch again for a few minutes before pacing for hours on end. Axel couldn't stand this nothingness- he called work and asked for the early shift, he told Cloud to call him when he figured anything out.

Axel's ride to work was anything but pleasant, he hoped his phone would start buzzing and Cloud would tell him that Roxas was okay- or better yet, when he got done working for the day the blond would be home, waiting. Roxas always was one to come up with strange and somewhat painful ways to bring to Axel's attention just how much the redhead loved the blond. He definitely had the redhead convinced again- all Axel wanted to know was that Roxas was safe and okay, more than that he wanted to be able to hold the blond and listen to the blond's voice- even if it was just to yell at him.

He began working slowly- random customers without an appointment entered and Axel's mind was forced to focus on the picture he needed to create and then finish on the person's skin. His mind was so easily distracted do to his lack of sleep that Axel tried to find comfort in it but his thoughts kept wondering back to Roxas. What if the blond was hurt- what if Axel never heard the younger man's voice ever again? A pressure began to build in his eyes and in his cheeks around the lower part of his eyes, the feeling of helplessness pressing in his chest. He forced a coughed and began to rapidly blinking, wiping his eyes and forehead on his rolled up black silk button up shirt, "Sorry," he mumbled t the customer- he needed to shake the thoughts.

The redhead sat in a barstool while he waited for another customer; he spun back and forth in the chair- letting his mind wonder again. Every few seconds he'd check his phone but nothing was there, nervously a little less often he would send a text to the blond, and even less often he'd dial the number just to make sure it was right and hesitantly call the blond. Every time he got nothing and every time he dropped the phone from his ear he'd let out a worried sigh and toss his phone on the counter. He'd complained to his close Coworker- a deranged blond mullet head whose name was equally strange-Demyx, how he hadn't heard from Roxas and it was making him extremely worried.

The doors opened and caused Axel to stop mid spin, "Cloud?" "Roxas is in the hospital," the older brother said in a shaky voice, the usual cool, calm, and collected brother he was known to be was nowhere to be seen. Instead what stood in his place was a distressed, shaking, and scattering blond that couldn't stop fidgeting, Axel grabbed his phone off the counter and jumped on his bike as fast as he could, Cloud's bike right next to the redheads with the engine going and leading the way in a not so law abiding speed down the road. Cloud and Axel practically ran through the hallways, blasting open double doors all the while, getting yelled at to slow down by almost every passing nurse. They came to an empty waiting room, the emergency room's waiting room.

Cloud went to storm back the way they came to get to the main desk and ask where Roxas was but Axel stopped him when he found a folded piece of paper standing up on the magazine covered coffee table. "Cloud," it said in bold hurried letters, Cloud quickly snatched it up and read the inside with the floor and room number Roxas had been moved to. And yet again the two ran through the halls while getting yelled at by nurses and doctors.

Axel's heart was racing so fast he almost couldn't feel it- but he could hear it gushing in his ears. "Roxas, Roxas, Roxas," his mind chanted over and over again, he knew he should've gone out to look for the blond but he didn't want to seem like he was over reacting. Cloud slid to a stop in front of Axel- the redhead slamming into his back at the sudden stop but the heavier frame in front of him didn't even sway by Axel's actions but instead turned back just a little and squeezed between Axel and the door frame. "Roxas!" the older brother all but whispered as he almost tripped into the room, he ran to the bed but Axel froze outside the door.

There was so many tubes and monitors, at the head of the bed where rows of electrical outlets- almost each one in use, the only sound in the room was the monitor on the far side of the bed unevenly beeping. Roxas' eyes were closed as a giant mask attached to his face forced oxygen into him, it wrapped around his head to cause random pieces of blond to stick out, and slowly Axel moved closer. The white blanket covered most of Roxas except for his chest and arms which showed him in a light blue hospital gown, Axel slowly found himself shaking his head.

Roxas couldn't breathe on his own; he had so many IV's running into his body, so many needles- Roxas hated needles. As Axel got closer he saw the bandage that covered the blond's head- a piece of gauze taped on the side of his forehead. "Roxas?" he mumbled, unable to wrap his mind around the idea that the barely breathing figure that looked so small and weak was his Roxas. He moved to stand beside Cloud but he couldn't make sense of anything. His heart felt like it was shriveling up inside his chest while his stomach tried to force itself out of his throat; he raised a hand he didn't know was shaking and gently placed it on the boy's bare arm- afraid he might break the fragile boy.

"Roxas?" he quietly asked, but the blond made no movement- as if he hadn't even heard the redhead speak, "He hasn't woken up yet…" Naminé whispered as she wiped a small tear from her eye, her arm returning to fold across her chest as she sat on the bed next to the feet of her fragile brother. "What happened?" he finally got the courage to ask, it was almost as if he was afraid to make any noise- like too much noise would just cause something bad to happen. "They don't know exactly yet… he was driving and something happened… he hit the side of the road and the car flipped and rolled down hill… it was out of site so no one saw it… some people that were walking by happened to look down and see it…" Naminé choked as she tried not to cry.

"Both his legs are broken," she put her arm up to her mouth as if to stop the crying, "He has a collapsed lung and a few broken ribs," her breath came out uneven with a bit of a voice too it as she tried not to cry still. "He also has a nasty gash on his head... he was outside all night- if it was a little colder he would've frozen-… he won't wake up…" all her resolve was gone- she buried her face in her arm as she tried to stifle her cries. The presence beside Axel moved around the bed to pull his younger sister into his chest, his own eyes dry but distressed just the same, Axel was left staring almost in awe at the siblings, at his love- he couldn't accept what was happening, he didn't know what to do. "Roxas?" he questioned, the room continued like he had said nothing- as if nothing he did would matter.

He took a deep breath, "It'll be okay Rox…" he whispered, for his own need more than for the blond's, he moved to hold the hand- but no matter how hard he squeezed the hand didn't clutch back. Cloud finally coaxed Naminé into going to get something to eat- at least to drink, just till she could get control of her breathing again, reluctantly she agreed and now Axel and Roxas were left alone in the room. "Roxas… please," the redhead was going to ask for the blond to wake up but decided against it, "Please get better, take all the time you need… just- get better…" he sat next to the blond, careful of any stray IV or tubes, he wanted the blond to smile and laugh and pick on him but then kiss him on the cheek to prove he wasn't meaning to hurt his feelings, but the more Axel thought of it the more he became unaware of the stray tears pouring down his face.

And then everything happened far too quickly.

The heart monitor began to make an annoying monotone buzz, Axel jumped at the sound, looking from the machine to Roxas- he wasn't as stupid as to not know what that meant. He reached forward and held the blonds face by his cheeks, "No, _no_, _no_, Rox! Don't do this, breathe!" he yelled, the blond laid motionless and without sound, the only sound that echoed in the room was that of the pumping and cringing monitors and the shrill heart machine scream.

Hands grabbed at Axel as they pulled him away from the lifeless boy, they immediately hooked things to the tubes that ran through the boys mouth while another nurse got two awfully painful and shocking pads to which the nurse then pressed against the smaller boys opened and wounded chest. They tried, time and time again, but soon they were writing on papers, taking the tubs out of the boy, and acting as if nothing bad had happened- as if the innocent life of the loving boy meant nothing to them. "No!" the redhead screamed as he pushed through the nurses, "Roxas Strife, get your ass up!" he yelled, holding the soft boy's face in his hands, he continued to yell but the body only got more and more cold, "Rox… no… you can't- I love you!" he struggled to breathe, "No, everything- everything always goes right when you're around- everything works, baby," he wrapped his arms around the lifeless body, rocking back and forth as gently as he could, "P-please," he choked on his sobs, "Please… don't go, this can't be right.

"I, I promise- I'll stop reciting your favorite movies when we watch them- I'll do the dishes more, fuck, I'll do anything Rox! Please," the body didn't hug him back, the body didn't move, the body was no longer Roxas but rather a shell and reminder of what was now lost. "He's not going to wake up," a nurse tried to comfort him but he couldn't let go of the broken and frail corpse, "But, but I love you," he sobbed, trying to squeeze life back into the body. The blond hair tickled his nose like it had for so many years but now, Axel knew it would be the last time he'd ever feel that, the last time he'd joke about struggling to breathe and laugh when the feather like hair was breathed into his nose.

The small body that fit so well against his own was now crumpled and decaying. Axel tried as he might, but he already couldn't remember the blond's voice- whether he was shouting with angry or sweetening him with love, the shine in his eye, the harmony to his laughter, or even the comfort of Axel breathing out while the blond breathed in- they were all but memories that could never be relived.

Pain shot the emaciated redhead awake, his hollow face flat cold against the linoleum floor of the bathroom while tears and drool mixed. The squeezing of Axel's heart- of the hollow space where his heart used to be, ached terribly and left Axel choking to breathe, he stood up and made his way to his once shared room, passing memories of once happy times and a torn calendar that read October on the way,. Crawling onto his bed he grabbed the tear stained pillow and held on for dear life, burying his face in the pillow to get any last sent of the blond- any last reminder of how sweet his blond hair smelt but all that he could smell now was tears, sweat, and a barely lingering smell of the comfort and the love he wanted.

"Rox," he choked into the pillow, "I miss you… so- much," he cried himself away. Like he did every night and like he would continue to- because nothing mattered and nothing felt alive to Axel when his heart was buried with _his_ Roxas.

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_**I realize this probably isn't very good so if I don't get many reviews or something I'll probably end up deleting it. Maybe I'll redo it till it's good enough and re-upload it after a while, But as of right yet- I don't know.**_


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